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Post by Darryl James on May 19, 2008 15:55:03 GMT -5
I'm conducting yet another Poll to see where people's attitudes are today regarding dating. Please vote the way you actually conduct yourself on dates.
Since very few people are virgins when they marry, I want to understand pre-marital sex attitudes.
The Poll question is: "Are you waiting for marriage to engage in specific sexual behavior?" If yes or no, please leave a comment as to why. If none of the choices appeal to you, please vote "Other" and then leave a comment explaining why. Please be sure to take a few moments to actually vote in the poll.
If you wish to add commentary, please do so. I really want to know what men and women think about dating in 2008.
Darryl James
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Post by angiejones4280 on May 19, 2008 16:21:21 GMT -5
I chose YES because like you said - not many people are virgins when they marry - so for me it'd be at least saving the experience of anal sex for my husband. I figure since I can't take back and save my virginity, I can at least do that so that he will be the only man which I experience such with.
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Post by nfamous on May 19, 2008 16:26:29 GMT -5
Hell no I'm not waiting. Waiting on what? You never know what might happen after you get married and tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Besides one third of women are cheating anyway. Marriage is outdated and has no advantages for men anymore. On the sexual tip, black women are notorious for not doing freaky things in bed but they sure know how to shake it in the strip club and on the dance floor. It's all a tease for most of them and black men end up with boring old missionary because most black women are raised Christian and taught that freaky sex is dirty and missionary is the only acceptable form. Of course the freaky black women are the ones you really don't want because they may have STD's. That's why black men want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed but black women rarely perform fellatio. They won't do anal. Many don't like cunnilingus and don't shave. These are all the things that white women do and do well. If black women want to keep a man you have to perform but it has to be out of your feelings for him, not because you don't want him to go to white women or whoever. Black women are too uptight in bed and need to loosen up. If you don't then you will eventually lose your unsatisfied man to another woman willing and able to do all those so-called nasty things he likes. If you're not into it then find a man who's not into it as well but good luck with that because there ain't many that aren't. My advice is go see a psychologist about your sexual hangups.
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Post by misanna101 on May 19, 2008 23:26:50 GMT -5
I voted yes. first of all the only thing that waiting to do until i am married is anal. outside of that everything else is dependent on who I'm with and how I a feeling about that person. I was reading the response from another member. I'm sorry, maybe your just picking the wrong ones because there are a lot of black women that are very good at fellatio. But Black men have kind of ruined it for themselves simply because they can't keep there mouths shut about what they do with who. So a girl has to be careful. Trust me if she is truly feeling you. you get exactly what you need, what you want and how you want served up doggy style,.
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Post by Darryl James on May 20, 2008 17:55:03 GMT -5
Great comments—very honest! No one can disagree with a person’s experience, except in saying that it applies to "most" people within a specific group.
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Post by seleniascott on May 22, 2008 1:01:19 GMT -5
I think you touched a nerve on this one ... a couple of these brothers are mad about it! LMAO!
I personally will do whatever - whenever - wherever for the RIGHT nigga... RIGHT meaning knows how to kiss, knows how to foreplay, knows how to seduce me, understands how to please me, how to talk to me. I think any woman that gets sprung on the D can be talked into ANYTHING - at least once! and will probably do nearly anything to please - No doubt! But you got to know what you are doing and she has to trust you. Especially black women fellas - yes... we dont like throwing our pearls amongst swine.
So boys... if you aint gettin' it you just aint doin it right or simply aint got what it takes... or maybe you HAD it and messed it up with some BullS***. Bottom line is everybody has their strenghths.
Maybe sexual seduction is your weakness?? Your too busy sexually seducing other women turning off your main one - or you just dont know how to turn her on period so you get the bare minumun sexual tolleration mode and not the freak mode you wish you had. You cant expect complete sexual inhabition from a woman when you really aint puttin it down like you should... married or not! REGARDLESS of her complexion.
Im so tired of men and women comparing races as if it defines one human being from another - because it doesn't! Because what I do for one man - I probably wont do for the next... If she's not freaky with you... doesn't mean she aint a freak - just means she aint with you and yall aint a match. End of story.
All that said... I vote NO. Best believe before I commit my sex to one human being, I will know well in advance if he has what it takes to handle me and vise versa.
Sexual compatability is WAY to vital to the success of a relationship that it can not be left to chance.
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Post by mycherieamour on May 22, 2008 14:49:55 GMT -5
Absolutely. I am waiting until after I am married to engage in sexual relations. Don't get me wrong. I am not a virgin. Nor, am I perfect. However, I made this choice after I began to study christianity. A LOT of people say they are Christian. Actions speak louder than words! It's not just about the Word, it is about discipline. If you take away the temptations of the flesh, you discover if you are compatible with someone or not. "What if they can't satify me in bed?", you ask. Get out there in the world! There's always therapy, books and if need be, toys! The bedroom is just one room in the home. If you cannot get along in all the other rooms and aspects of the home, the bedroom becomes null and void. Also, with the high risk of sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and the state of the economy, I choose to remain celibate until after (not at the thought, promise or fantasy of), but AFTER marriage.
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Post by wurldtravler on May 22, 2008 15:44:09 GMT -5
I agree with seleniascott. I have had black women do it all, even anal. If you know what you are doing, you can make her do anything. I did the reverse: multiple women at a time or in the same day. I got it outta my system before I got married.
I agree with nfamous too about black women without skills and being conservative. You gotta teach them what you want and how you want it, then send them on their way. If nobody teaches them...how will they learn?
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Post by spree1 on Jun 13, 2008 15:06:38 GMT -5
Again, I am shaking my head!!
African American men want freaks in the bed and a lady in the streets and want things to their advantage but where in there lies any advantages for women? Oh that's right he is supposed to pay all the bills...uhh wait a sec newsflash most African American males make less monies and require a woman to work to maintain a household. Sounds like a male can't have it his way anymore because he is not qualified financially to whore her out!!!!! Let's not mention that many men are not even qualified for other reasons such as laziness, etc.
Also, historically speaking African American males do not go out of their way to please their women sexually either. Don't go down but expect the woman to go down. Thinking it's all about the wood that many will never get up again!!!! Look at our health reports which are failing miserably before 35 years of age.
Brothers, this is why so many of us are losing out!! You can't expect more when we give less!! And it's a new day and era, like all things you must change. I have never had any problem getting any woman to do as I pleased but my steez is tight where most of my bro's are weakminded and lacking in the spirit. Whining and crying because they can't get their way, as if their way is a divine right as the white man thinks his rule is a divine.
Get over your ego, step your game up, and get a sexual education!!!
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Post by Cheryl on Oct 21, 2008 16:01:22 GMT -5
Well this is a hot topic! I've been following Dr.Mwalimu Baruti out of Atl. and he has great books & cds on these kinds of discussions as well! "The Sex Imperative" is one of his books and he talks about the sexual nature of caucasions as compared to Africans(blacks)....and some of the post from some of you men remind me of a colonized people with no real identity as it pertains to money, family,religion or sex! To even compare a black women to a white girl and her freakish nature is truely insulting as a blackwomen!!!!! You want us to do all of these outlandish things in bed for you because you feel so powerless in the real world! Sex should not be your priority...because first of all it is a special gift! It's not a right that you think you are entitled to have! Not to mention it doesn't make you any more or less of a man in this oversexed society! What next...." the Black girls won't let me pee on them"....when does the perversion end! This society is always looking for a new stimulus, a higher high....what do you want your head to explode next time you have sex....then you can really say "she was the bomb!"LOL Little black girls are giving little Black boys on the school bus head, in broad daylight! Everything adults do freaky the kids soon emulate! Let the White girls have the reputation of being sluts and whores ...we got too many problems in our race we aint finished fixing yet! It's not fair to put that pressure on Blackwomen and 9 times out of 10 you'll cheat on her anyway even if she was good in bed! Then she feels like she degraded herself sexually and you weren't even worth it! As I told one guy who presented that anal crap to me was "finish with the other hole first". Some of these guys are very mis-educated and only want to use you for their sexual toilet and feel like a so called man after he's done....All I have to say is shame on you and get a clue! If we keep following this White racist society and all of their Greekish & freakish ways we are a people doomed to die! Turn off them damned freakish t.v.s and smut gangsta rap(degrades women)and read an intelligent book by some of our great black thinkers in social behavior and psychology and develope a passion for knowledge and truth .... instead of a passion for ignorance! And just so you'll know "sex is great " had some great sessions a few times myself.....but it ain't up there with oxygen!!!!LOL www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNz26bycuyAcheck out DR. Baruti
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Post by Cheryl on Oct 21, 2008 16:54:55 GMT -5
And I just wanted to add a few more comments....that's one reason God wanted us to be virgins when we get married because so many of us have been with so many freaky partners that all we do is compare the others to our spouse or mate! The spouse or mate don't stand a chance in bed with you and then you blame them like they are doing something wrong ...when it's really you, because while you were out gettin your PHD in P---Y or D--K ....you forgot to marry the freak that turned you on so much and now the new person has to pay with your dishonesty and infidelity! Stop using people...... marry the freaks and stop seducing good people into your disfunctional, misprioritized and confused life! Be who you are at all times and I'm sure you will meet your match! I voted "no". www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR7H-str_Tc"Sexual healing for black people" Question....did we ever stop to think about the way blackwomen were raped and degraded during slavery by the white master! Did you ever stop to think that blackwomen are tired of being every man's sexual toilet? I don't care what images we see on Bet and other propagandized media....But if we would look at our women as our sisters first and lovers later maybe we could have complimentary relationships on many levels! I am a volunteer with a rape crisis team and aggression and rape is not pretty or cute when you see young girls victimized to such a degree.... they in time become to believe that they are damaged goods and who would want me! That could be one of the reasons you get sexual hangups,timidness or overly hyper sexual females! Our story is not like everybody elses, every other woman does not share our legacy...raped and have to have the rapist baby...raped by the master and his sons and friends anytime they felt like it! A blackwoman's body was not her own to choose how she liked it and what position, baby.....not to mention we were breeders after they stopped the slave ships from coming to America! It was customary for a Black breeder to have at least 15-20 babies, if I'm correct and then be sold off for profit! Men you were used as studs and maybe that's why some of you can make so many babies and walk away!( something to think about)We all suffer from" post traumatic slave disorder". Hearing the stories of what happened to grandma and grandpa or watching "Sankofa" or "Goodbye Uncle Tom" is enough to make us have unconscious thoughts and fears stemming from our history .....so we've always had hangups as a people on so many different fronts! IT'S HEALING TIME.... NOT HAMMER TIME!
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